DanLin.net » Comedy

U.S. Second in Gold Medals in 2008 Beijing Olympics

dan.lin — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 05:52:11 +0000

Now that the 2008 Beijing Olympics are officially over, the U.S. won more combined medals than any other country in the world. We also have won the most silver and Bronze medals in these games.

That’s right, no one in the WORLD is better at being second place. We are even the best at being second place when it comes winning gold medals. Take that.

Finally, the long awaited 11th episode of Yacht Rock

dan.lin — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 04:00:31 +0000

If you haven’t seen the first 10 episodes of Yacht Rock, go and catch up before playing this latest episode that’s been a long time waiting….

How to write code

dan.lin — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:49:54 +0000

This has been around a few years but I just came across it today. It is probably the best tutorial/paraody on how to write code I’ve ever seen… At least for a dude. I’m sorry if I am a giant nerd who finds this funny albeit NSFW.

object me
{
    me.still_alive = true;
    main()
    {
        while(me.still_alive)
        {
            me.wake();
            me.pee();
            me.poop();
            me.eat(food);
            me.work();
            me.fuck(girl);
            me.readcl();
            me.sleep();
        }
    }
    function fuck(human girl)
    {
        if girl.isHot()
        {
            me.cock.fill(blood);
            me.statedOrgasmThreshold = 60 minutes;
            me.currentOrgasmState = 0 minutes;
            me.undress();
            if (girl.pussy.isExposed() & girl.pussy.isClean()) or (girl.pussy.isExposed() & me.horny())
            {
                while(girl.givesConsent())
                {
                    me.penetrate();
                    me.withdraw();
                    if (me.currentOrgasmState > me.statedOrgasmThreshold or me.currentOrgasmState > 10 minutes)
                    {
                        me.orgasm(goo);
                        me.scratchBalls();
                        me.ignore(girl);
                        me.eat(pizza);
                        me.drink(beer);
                        me.nap();
                    }
                    me.currentOrgasmState ++ 1 minute;
                }
                if not (girl.givesConsent())
                {
                    try
                    {
                        me.sweetTalk(girl);
                        me.buyStuffFor(girl);
                        me.ignore(girl);
                        me.smack(girl);
                    }
                    catch(exception e)
                    {
                        if e.message.contains(girl.screamingPunchingScratchingOutMyEyes())
                        {
                            me.runAway();
                        }
                    }
                }
            }
        }
        elseif girl.sucksGood()
        {
            me.proposeMarriage();
        }
    }
}

Donnie Hoyle’s Photoshop Tutorial Series #5

dan.lin — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:39:12 +0000

This is the fifth installment of Donnie’s pixel pushing periodical, “You Suck at Photoshop”. Enjoy.

I thought it was funny. I don’t give two Arby’s French Dips about it if you didn’t.

Original Link

Bill Gates’ last day video from CES

dan.lin — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 23:21:48 +0000

In case if you haven’t seen it, here is Bill Gates’ video parodying his own departure from Microsoft shown at his CES keynote last week.

You sucjk at Photoshop and your wife is cheating on you

dan.lin — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:19:46 +0000

If the title of this post rings a bell, you need to watch this video….

This reminds me that its time again to do taxes….

How was your Christmas morning?

dan.lin — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:36:01 +0000

Hopefully it was better than this…

Angry Grandpa Ruins Christmas – Watch more free videos

Exclusive photos of spy squirrels recently arrested in Iran

dan.lin — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 06:43:29 +0000

Earlier this week the Iranians announced that they had arrested 14 squirrels who are accused of espionage. It was reported in various new sources.

Just today, I received an anonymous email with the following photo attached. I can not reveal my source but he (or is he REALLY a SHE? I’ll never tell) is very reliable as well as deeply embedded within the Iranian prison system.

They wanted their family to know that they are okay and the Iranians for now are treating them fairly…

Arr

Ever Wonder What a Bunch of Fools Look like…

dan.lin — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:07:40 +0000

When they are singing ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ on the Karaoke? Wonder no more…

Kicking some monster ass

dan.lin — Fri, 18 May 2007 16:20:47 +0000

This is a video that’s made its rounds on the web for a couple of weeks. I just found it and its pretty hilarious…