1. Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10. Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Next time you see him on late night TV trying to sell you ropes that jerk you up and down a piece of plywood that’s somehow called a gym, you’d be smart to just pony up the cash before more of his pain is exported your way…

(Via ChuckNorrisFacts.com)